For Lito, at the Club

[love_made_public]

It has been nearly three days and nights, now. Three days and nights of Lito fixing what should only have taken one, if that. To break things off with four men who were merely physical to Lito, this should not have been a multi-day undertaking. And now? Now Lito is back at that club, the club where he met so many of these men, where men went to find men who looked like Lito.

Hernando supposes he is expected to wait here yet again, to receive Lito at his door full of apologies and promises and self-loathing. Hernando knows that is what is expected. He is supposed to be the calm one, the rational one in this relationship. Or what was a relationship. But this is simply too much to bear.

He changes into the jeans and simply black button down that Lito had purchased him, slipping lube and a condom into his pocket. It has been too long, too long has something that ought to be his has been shared with Darrow. He feels half mad with jealousy. It is not him, this is not how he acts but then again, he has never been pushed quite this far.

It is Lito. His Lito.

He forgoes a coat, determined that he will not want as many layers to contend with as he hurries to the club, pushing his way past the bouncer and scanning the room. It is so strange to be looking for Lito in such a place but he is not difficult to find. Lito's sort of beauty would stand out in any crowd.

"Lito!" he shouts, pushing past half naked and sweaty men, wondering how many of them has had his boyfriend.

Comments

[artoflove]

Lito had been in the middle of finishing up with Steve when he hears his name. Frowning, he thinks that he's hearing things, but when he turns to find Hernando striding across the floor, he learns that this isn't just some hopeful part of his brain placing him here, but rather, he's actually here. "Hernando?" he mouths, a touch lost and surprised, stepping away from where he'd been at the bar to search him over, feeling arousal stir in him for the first time all night, just at the sight of him in that shirt.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, even though it's clear he sounds thrilled that he is.

[love_made_public]

He grabs Lito's hand without comment, scanning the room until he sees a sign for the bathroom. There's an attendant or a bouncer or something near the door and Hernando pulls Lito over, handing over a 20 dollar bill. He cannot imagine things in Darrow work so very different than back home, not in this regard.

"I am tired of waiting, Lito," he murmurs, pushing the door open and waiting for Lito to walk through. "I am tired of waiting on the feelings of other men to be comforted. If you love me and only me, go through and show me."

[artoflove]

Lito's heart starts beating wildly faster when he sees where Hernando is taking him, so desperate to believe and hope that they're ready to move forward. He really thought he'd have to do more winning back, but if Hernando is ready for this, he's also not going to argue. "I love you more than you will ever know," he vows, practically shoving at the walls to get to the bathroom as fast as he can, tripping into the stall, and tugging Hernando with him, eyes wild.

"Don't you want to hear that I've ended things with all of them? Because I have," he guarantees.

[love_made_public]

"I am fighting for you, Lito," he huffs, closing the stall door and shoving him against the side. He presses close, heart fit to burst as he realizes yet again that they have not kissed. Lito has not kissed him in eighteen months and Hernando has not kissed him in days.

"It should not have taken so long if it was truly only physical; I know this. I'm not stupid. But I am willing to fight if I have to. My heart is hurt but I cannot stand it any longer. We still haven't kissed. It feels terrible."

[artoflove]

When Hernando meets some of them in the future, he will understand why it took so long with some of them, both to track them down, get them away from their own lives, and do this. Now, though, he's done, and when Hernando says that they haven't kissed, he realizes how true this is. "We may not have kissed, but I think about it every single day," he guarantees, and that's even an understatement.

"In the morning, all day, and at night, when I wish you were there with me," he says, tugging Hernando by the shirt to haul him in closer. "If you are ready to forgive me and take me back, I will kiss you. Please say the word," he begs.

[love_made_public]

"There is only you for me," he murmurs, rolling his hips against Lito's, hating every single piece of clothing that keeps them apart. "We will work it out. Kiss me. Touch me. Fuck me, Lito. Fuck me until you forget about all those other men. Make me feel like yours."

[artoflove]

Lito feels like he's drifted into a wonderful dream, his gaze fixed on Hernando's lower lip as he drifts in closer, breathing out anxiously, but tangling up his hands in Hernando's clothes. He wants this to be the best kiss in the history of kisses, but at the same time, he worries that it will disappoint Hernando and he will realize that Lito is not good. It's why when he pins him to the wall, the kiss he gives him may be frantic and heated, but there's every ounce of care and love that he's been missing, cupping Hernando's cheek and crying, not caring that his cheeks are wet as he kisses the man he loves.

He just never thought he'd get the chance to do this, again, and now that he's able to, he doesn't want to let him go. Every second that passes yields to a deeper kiss and soon Lito isn't able to stop himself from hauling Hernando's shirt from his trousers, desperately trying to get at more of him.

[love_made_public]

Hernando groans into the kiss, hands desperately clinging as he presses as close as he can, as if he can erase the memories of these other men from Lito's body with his touch.

"Lito," he pants, head rolling back to rest against the stall. He lets go long enough to rip his shirt off, heedless of the buttons that go flying. He tosses it he does not know where and arches his back. "Lito, touch me please."

He wraps one hand around Lito's neck and the other start's fumbling with Lito's pants, desperate to feel skin.

[artoflove]

He wants to touch him everywhere at once, but he knows that's impossible, so he can only start with what's right in front of him, helping to rip the buttons from his shirt as he bends to press kisses down Hernando's neck, sinking to his knees like it's their first date all over again and all that he wants to do is chase that perfect kiss with his mouth on Hernando's cock, knowing it's not very romantic, but he takes him as deep as he can, hands sliding up his back to possessively hold onto him, like he's trying to erase all the others from his mind as he digs his knees into the sticky floor.

[love_made_public]

Hernando makes no attempt to keep quiet, letting out an almighty shout as Lito takes him right into his mouth, like so long ago, like their first time.

He thrusts into Lito's mouth, gasping at the perfect, wet heat that he knows so well, hand fisting Lito's short hair. He imagines the other men doing this, with Lito worshiping them on his knees and it makes him angry and frantic as he closes his eyes. His other hand grips the top of the stall, grounding him like the hard grip of Lito's hand on his hips. He hopes there are bruises, in the morning. He hopes none of the other men have bruises.

"Lito," he groans, open his eyes to watch him. "I hate all of them, I cannot help it. I am so jealous I can-" he pauses, voice catching and breaking as pleasure wracks him. "I can hardly stand it. That they saw you like this, they had this. This is mine."

[artoflove]

Lito doesn't want to let Hernando go, not ever, not once in his life, and he works hard to take Hernando deep in his mouth, knowing that while he's done this once or twice since he's been here, it's never been like taking Hernando into his mouth, so sweet and overjoyed with the benediction of such a holy thing, to him. He wants to tell him how good he is, praise him more, tell Hernando that he has nothing to worry about, because he's Lito's soulmate, just him and only him.

So instead of words, he uses his mouth and lips instead, devoted and dedicated to bringing him pleasure.

[love_made_public]

"God, Lito," he gasps, tears spilling over as it's too much, it is too much. His body is shaking with pleasure and his heart is so full of love and jealousy he feels sick with it. He cannot stop himself from thrusting as Lito takes and takes and he wants to bury himself so deep they can never be parted again.

He will not last long, not after so many days spent alone thinking and imagining what these men looked like, what they tasted like. Imagining his Lito alone and sad for a year before them and unable to find his center in any of it. He feels desperate in a way he is unused to, all his usual passion and energy spent thinking about it again and again.

"I love you, I love you," he chokes, back arching as Lito holds him steady, the constant hard pressure of his fingers pushing him over the edge as he starts to come. It is wrenched out of him as he shouts praise and filth to anyone who would hear it, all the while his Lito holding him so steady.

[artoflove]

Lito hadn't realised how badly he'd needed to hear those words in that voice before suddenly, tears are streaming down his cheeks and he's trying his best not to sob and sniffle as he sucks Hernando's cock, finding he's a mess as he eases back, his lips stained with come and snot, collapsing back on his ass onto the bathroom floor as he stares up at him, desperately reaching for him as he weeps. "Please, don't be so far," he begs, "please, Hernando, please, I need you."

[love_made_public]

"Christ, Christ," Hernando groans as he comes down only to find Lito breaking down in front of him. He's already halfway to his knees from exhaustion so he lets himself fall the rest of the way, onto the filthy damn floor as he wraps his arms around Lito, holding him as tight as he can manage.

"I'm so sorry you were alone," he whispers against Lito's sweaty temple. "I'm sorry I'm so jealous. It will be alright, Lito. Let's go home and you will fuck me and make me yours again, yes?"

[artoflove]

Lito feels shaken, both by the overwhelming amount of love he holds for the man above him, but also for the way he feels after having the kind of sex he's missed for so many months (years). Sniffling in deeply, trying to compose himself, he lets himself keen for just one terrible moment later as he buries his face in Hernando's neck. "You are always mine, my heart, my one," he promises, rubbing his temple against Hernando's. "But before we go home, I want to dance."

"Here, with you, in front of everyone. I want them to know that I've found you again, and I don't plan on losing you."

[love_made_public]

Hernando cannot help but think most of the men in the club will pay them no mind but if this is what Lito needs, he will not deny it.

"I do not want to know who they are, yet, if they are here," he murmurs, running his fingers through the soft hairs at the nap of Lito's neck. "Do not point them out. I want my mind free of their faces when you fuck me, tonight. Are you still hard for me, Lito?"

[artoflove]

"I won't tell you," he vows, hand over his heart as he promises not to tell Hernando who it is that he's been sleeping with. Eventually, he will have to introduce Hernando to his friends and the man will probably wonder which of them that Lito has slept with. That's a conversation for another day, though, and not now.

"I'm so hard for you," he promises, reaching for his hand so he can push it against the erection straining his jeans. "Can't you feel that? It's all for you."

[love_made_public]

"I can," he soothes, fingers wrapping around Lito where he's hot and hard. "I could take you out right here and ride you, on this dirty bathroom floor."

Because fuck it, fuck all of this. It feels as if immovable mountains have been placed between them and whatever they have still to go through to be alright, Hernando needs Lito to know he is here with him.

"Do you want that?"

[artoflove]

He wants to go home, christen their bed, be there for the first time, but there's something poetic and perfect about the idea of doing it here, in this stall, and his heavy exhalation speaks of how much he wants that, nodding his head. He doesn't want to ask if Hernando wants to see the results of the test Lito had taken, but he had, and they're sitting on his phone, just in case.

"Please, I want you to fuck me. I need that," he insists, a wild look in his eyes. "I need you."

[love_made_public]

Hernando leans forward, cupping Lito's face as he kisses him, slow and dirty. Every last person in this club is going to know what they have been doing and he hopes twenty dollars was enough to buy the time they need. He kicks one leg free of his jeans and straddles Lito who is still completely clothed.

"Unzip your pants and touch yourself for me," he murmurs, reaching for the lube and the condom, holding it uncertainly.

"I was not sure if we needed this, now," he says as gently as he can manage.

[artoflove]

He shakes his head, happy that when he looks at Hernando, he can do it with pure, brimming joy, and delight to say what he does next. "I got a test, two days ago, when you came here," he vows, with a firm nod of his head. "I'm clean," he says. "I have the results on my phone, if you want to see," he offers, just in case Hernando doesn't believe him, reaching down to fumble with the zip of his pants, shoving them down so he can get his hand around his cock.

He pretends he's back in bed, imagining Hernando is with him, as he had in his wildest fantasies. Now, though, it's real and he's flesh and blood and here. "Oh, how I longed for you," he moans.

[love_made_public]

Hernando's voice dies in his throat as he looks at Lito, so beautiful and hard for him. "I trust you," he breathes, leaning in to gently kiss his forehead, lubed fingers joining Lito's.

And he does. None of their problems, none of what is currently happening has anything to do with Hernando not loving or trusting Lito. He loves him desperately.

He shuffles closer, not wanting to wait any longer, if it hurts later, it will be a reminder that he has been claimed. He realizes, as he starts to sink down, that Lito is still clothed and he as naked as the day he was born. It seems more, somehow. More erotic or more poignant, as poignant as sex on a bathroom floor can be.

[artoflove]

Lito closes his eyes and lets himself fall into the bliss that's waiting for him. Being fucked and fucking other men had always been missing something and it's easy to see now what that was. Sex without love is something that will always leave you hungry for more. This, though? This is the most beautiful thing he's ever experienced in the world.

"Hernando," he moans his name, loudly, like he wants everyone to hear. "My love, my Hernando," he goes on, the bliss brimming on his lips to joyfully claim him as he's being claimed. "I love you," he says, and swears those same three words rapidly, again and again, with every shove of his hips against Hernando's.

[love_made_public]

Hernando's head falls back as his back arches, eyes closing. It's so good, it's so painful and good. It is always good with Lito but this is desperate and new in a way it hasn't been since the first time or since they were brought back together at home.

"Fuck!" he shouts, eyes snapping open as his whole body starts to light up. "Fuck. Lito."

He shoves himself forward, one hand slapping on the bathroom stall behind Lito's head and the other starting to stroke himself to relieve some of the painful ache. Lito needs him here with him, he knows this, so he keeps his eyes open, glasses slipping down his nose. "I love you too," he gasps. "More than anyone in my life. Make me feel you, Lito."

[artoflove]

The glasses, oh God, oh everything, but Lito hadn't realized how much he'd missed the glasses until this moment, until he wants to see nothing more than Hernando pushing them back up the bridge of his nose. He lets out a pained, wracked sob of love, kissing Hernando up and down the column of his neck as he breathes him in. He never wants to be apart from this man, but more than that, he wants to show him off.

"I want everyone to see you with me," he says. "I want to parade you around, so people can be jealous. I want your photo and mine in the papers. Please, Hernando, please," he gasps, between thrusts.

[love_made_public]

God, God it's every fantasy he's had and nothing he'd ever thought he would hear, not even at home. He'd never imagined Lito wanting any of that to happen.

He grabs at the back of Lito's head, burying his face in his shoulder as he lets out a pained shout, coming all over both of them. It is wrenched out of him, his entire body shaking as he sobs into Lito's shirt, eyes wet as he doesn't want it to end, doesn't want reality anywhere near them.

[artoflove]

Lito kisses him, still kisses him, soft and slow and hard and fast. He wants to kiss Hernando in every way he can, finding himself on a hair trigger even though he knows he can go so much longer. His clothes are a complete mess and he wonders whether Hernando will care if he ends up walking through the club in only his boxer-briefs. Or maybe he can call the bouncer to deliver them some jeans, if he promises enough cash.

"I'm not letting you go," he insists, his words muffled as he speaks them into Hernando's shoulder. "Never. Not ever."

[love_made_public]

"Come inside me," Hernando slurs, mouthing at Lito's neck as he tries to keep his hips moving for him.

"Please, Lito, I know they didn't have this. I want to feel you; I want to be the only one who has felt you like this. I want to be better than them; tell me I'm better than them."

[artoflove]

"You're the only man I ever want to spend my life with," he makes that promise with all his heart, knowing it's the honest truth. At home, he never would have let his mind gravitate like this, but after almost two years in Darrow, he thinks now of things like marriage and how he could ask Hernando to be with him, like that.

Later, though, they have time to settle into that. Right now, he has a command to obey and it takes very little at all for him to do it, gasping Hernando's name as he does.

[love_made_public]

Hernando manages to get both arms around Lito, holding him as he shakes apart, face buried in his neck.

He murmurs something, he isn't sure what, whatever comforting things he can manage as they settle, the sounds of the club slowly filtering back into their little cocoon.

"We have absolutely ruined both of our clothes," he snickers suddenly, remembering his ripped shirt and Lito's filthy shirt and pants. "Every last person is going to know we were fucking in here."

[artoflove]

"Sometimes, there are forgotten clothes," he mumbles, his words sticking together as he presses slow, soft kisses to Hernando's neck, turning to try and hold onto him, ignoring the thumping of the music and the sounds of other people as they come in. "Lost and found. I will just use some."

He doesn't care what's happening or going on. He's finally broken up with the men he'd been seeing, he's kissed and held and fucked Hernando. "If you go shirtless, I will be the jealous one," he warns.

[love_made_public]

"We can just both go out without our shirts," Hernando muses, nuzzling sleepily into Lito's shoulder. He can see feet around them, hear men going into the other stalls for similar purposes but he does not care. A part of him hopes some of them are Lito's lovers, hopes they know what has happened.

"And with my come all over your pants. I do not mind. With the star of Space Hospital shirtless and come stained, I do not think you will need to be so worried about anyone paying attention to me."

[artoflove]

"I am not the star," he says, not to be humble, but because in this case, it's the sad truth. "Maybe a recurring guest star that is very loved, but not the star." He shrugs his shoulders, knowing that it will change, eventually, but for right now, he's still working his way back up the ladder. "And maybe we can go out there, but not in a cab."

He might be out, but he still can hear his publicist screeching at him for his image. There are some things he needs to be careful about. "We will ask for some lost clothes. Maybe, if I'm lucky, they won't fit you properly. Too tight."

[love_made_public]

"You are always the star, no matter the size of the role," Hernando reminds him, grimacing a little as he pulls himself out of Lito's lap, doing what he can to get himself in order. The shirt is a lost cause and it is quite obvious what is all over his bare belly. "Alright, my hero, I will leave it up to you to make us presentable. I find that I do not care but I am but an unknown hanger on and have no good reputation to ruin, not yet."

He sits back down, knocking his foot into Lito's. "How are you feeling, Lito?"

[artoflove]

There are practically shining stars in Lito's eyes when Hernando speaks. He's forgotten how good with words his boyfriend is (and yes, he can finally use that word again, finally, without having to clarify that he's an 'ex'). Lito doesn't want to move just yet, his palms sliding over Hernando's bare body as he tries to get him to curl in and stay with him, but he knows they should go.

"I'm tired," he admits. "It's been a very emotional week, in the best way, but all I want to do is go home and then have you fuck me," he shares, a pleading look in his eyes, even as he digs out his phone to text a request to the bartender to leave some lost and found clothes at the bathroom door.